Monday, March 20, 2006

Gout -- not just for DWEMs anymore

So get this: Mr. Noisy Downstairs Neighbor has gout.

No, really! He told me so himself.

I didn't know people still got that! I thought you had to be Henry VIII or John Milton to get gout, not a hip-hop loving, slow-talking, big-walking, child-indulging, pot-smoking, 30-something duuuuude in 21st century Rust Belt Historic District. (Then again, you should see the copious amounts of beer bottles in the recycling bin each week. Perhaps that has something to do with it.)

Part of me wants to say: sweet, sweet, poetic justice! But that would be mean. And besides, dangit all, it just makes him noisier because now he's on crutches!


Tiruncula said...

A professor of mine had gout! I thought it was an obsolete disease until he told me, and then I didn't believe him at first.

Dr. Virago said...

Yeah, I'm sure the look on my face when my neighbor told me was utter disbelief, because he repeated himself with a nod of the head as if to say, "No, really!"

Bardiac said...

One of my friends has gout, and it seems to hurt a ton when he had it. At least nowadays they have decent treatments!

Ian Myles Slater said...

A really nasty disease; uric acid crystals form in the joints, making a fierce, if fortunately controllable --well, some of the time - form of arthritis. Found mostly in men until advanced old age, when women catch up.

One step in control is reducing protein in the diet; an indication of why the affliction was once associated with those who could afford meat ("a rich diet" in more than one sense) on a regular basis.

Back in the 1960s, John W. Campbell, the usually fiercely anti-big-government editor of the science fiction magazine "Analog," published an editorial in favor of strict truth-in-labelling laws, and their vigorous enforcement.

He was trying to control his own gout, and had found from hard experience that a declared absence of meat products on a food label didn't always mean a real absence of animal proteins; with excruciatingly painful consequences whenever he guessed wrong.

Dr. Virago said...

Wow -- look what you can learn on a blog. Thanks, Ian! (And now I feel guilty for making fun of my neighbor, but he's kind of a jerk. He *watches* me do all the hard snow shovelling and then sends his 10-year-old out when I'm almost done.)

Anonymous said...

My dad has gout - it's nasty. He tries to control it with diet (avoiding red meat, other stuff), but when it's acting up it's just miserable until it's back under control. And it's not real consistent, so what might (or might not) set it off one day might have the opposite effect a week later, etc.

MT said...

I suppose it beats the lumbago.

Dr. Virago said...

I missed you MT.

However, I will never ignorantly joke about seemingly old-fashioned diseases ever again after this thread.