Thursday, November 29, 2007

Dr. Virago: superhero, spiritual advisor, and therapist. Only not.

So Sisyphus has a post in which she worries about the job market and then distracts herself with the bizarre search strings that bring people to her blog. As you all know, "Beowulf nudity" (or its variant, "naked Beowulf") is a recently popular draw to chez Virago these days because of this post. But I bet you don't know the top three search strings that regularly bring random visitors to these here parts on a regular basis. These are the searches that show up multiple times every time I check the "referral pages" section of my SiteMeter stats. Seriously, these hits won't go away.

They are:

3) What's my superhero name? That one gives you this post as the very first hit. (OK, I was new to blogging and still amused by silly quiz things.)

2) Then there's this search string: I think I'm depressed. I'm the third hit for that one. It just makes me even more depressed that people are searching the web for advice about depression and coming to my fraking blog for advice. Man. On the bright side, I haven't felt what I described in that post in a long time.

And finally, the top search string:

1) In nomine patris et filii et spiritus sancti. That one puts my post on the Latin mass as the second hit and is the single most common way random visitors come to my blog. Kinda ironic for an agnostic chick who's only barely culturally Catholic anymore.

Seriously, these search strings are regular appearances. Yeah, I get the ones from people clearly writing papers on various medieval literature that I've talked about here, but none of them are as common as these. Weird, huh?


heu mihi said...

I get "age to perfection" like six times a day. Seriously. I'm considering changing my blog's subtitle to "The phrase is 'ageD to perfection,' damn it!"

Well no, not really. Since that would then bring me all the searchers with proper grammar, too.

L.C.McCabe said...

That reminded me of a post made by Victoria Strauss on her Writer Beware! blog.

It's quite humorous.

One of the search terms was "cyst and desist."

Ah, and just think now that I've added it in your comment trail, should anyone Google that phrase again, you'll be on their list.

Here's hoping your mind-numbing task of emboldening text is over.


Sisyphus said...

I wish *I* got naked Beowulf blog hits! Of course, I never write about Beowulf, or nakedness, but still...

l.c. mccabe, is emboldening text like emboldening the terrorists? 'Cause then it would seem to be rather fun.

Dr. Richard Scott Nokes said...

I sometimes get obvious porn searches with the word "unlocked" in the phrase: unlocked teen girls, unlocked nude teens, etc.

I have to confess, my knowledge of this subculture is pretty limited. Is "unlocked" some kind of subsub-category of bondage? I kind of want to know, and kind of don't at the same time.

Dr. Virago said...

Dr. Nokes - I thought I was edgy enough to know all the porn sub-categories (mostly from watching CSI) but I didn't know anything about "unlocked" porn. So I googled the phrases you mentioned and it seems that "unlock(ed)" is a common word in the random strings of words that porn sites put up to get people to come accidentally to their sites. So perhaps it's widely know that "unlock(ed)" is a word that will help you find the sites.

Nice. Not.

And know, between your comment and Sisyphus's, I'm on watch sites for kiddie porn and terrorism. Great.

And to Sisyphus and LC McCabe: yes, the words have been emboldened. So emboldened, in fact, that they hitched a FedEx package to a publisher to get themselves published. :)

Dr. Virago said...

Oh, and heu mihi -- maybe they were thinking of it as an imperative: you there, age to perfection! Yes sir!

Bardiac said...

Nekkid Beowulf!

I get weird hits about the rape and pleasure from writing about *The Rape of Lucrece* and *Titus.*

Renaissance Girl said...

Hey! Will someone tell the techno-idiots among us (okay--that may just be the *me* among us) how to see the search terms that produce blog hits...?

Dr. Virago said...

Ren Girl -- First you've got to install SiteMeter or some other gadget that monitors your traffic. There are other programs, but I use SiteMeter. Scroll all the way down the page to the little widget just above the "I Power Blogger" button -- that's the SiteMeter button. If you're me and you click on it, you get the stats. I think I've locked others from seeing them, but now I can't remember. At any rate, if I have, you can still click on it to get to their site and find out how to get it for your own blog.

Clio Bluestocking said...

I get hits for "rotten teeth," pictures of the "Last Supper" related to the DaVinci Code, and strings involving all sorts of words for female body parts and what someone should do to them. That last one disturbs me.

Steve Muhlberger said...

The individual search that brings more people to my site than any other is an image search for Saladin. The picture that brings them to me is pretty good, but I got it off somebody else's site and I'm not quite sure why they don't get the hits.