Friday, August 18, 2006

69 Facts about Dr. Virago (with pictures!)

Get your mind out of the gutter! The title refers to the fact that I totally flaked on the 100 Facts in 100 Days meme after Fact 31, so I decided to fill in the rest in one post. Why bother? Because I don't like leaving anything unfinished. Well, except The Mysteries of Udolpho. I just couldn't take another page of constant overuse of the word "sublime." Oh, and I never finished this latch-hook pillow project when I was a kid (click to "embiggen"):

Te-hee! Remember latch-hook?

But that's not an official fact. That's a bonus fact! Lucky you! Without further ado, here are the official facts (probably full of typos because I have no patience to proof-read it all):

32. I wore this awesome dress to my prom:

Those "straps" you see are just for the hanger. It's a strapless dress.


And most awesome of all, the fish-tail train in close-up:

33. I have dated a drummer. And another and another. One of them was my date to that prom.

34. I first travelled to Europe when I was nine.

35. While in Vienna on that trip, I got to pet a lion cub. But I didn't set any bears free.

36. My spoken French is terrible and my listening skills aren't much better, but sometimes I still dream in it.

37. My heart swells with love whenever I'm in Yorkshire.

38. My English ancestors were from East Anglia.

39. I grew up in a Plains State. (What's with all the flatness, people?!)

40. My first English ancestors to come to North American arrived in Massachusetts colony in 1628. My mother always refused to believe they were Puritans.

41. My Irish ancestors arrived in the 19th C. and headed straight to one of those all-Irish towns in Illinois (more flatness!). Cf. Road to Perdition.

42. I have a medal from the NRA. See -- look:
43. I was raised Catholic and went to 12 years of Catholic school.

44. I don't consider myself Catholic anymore...that is, until someone picks on Catholics.

45. I went to an evil, preppy, snooty high-church Protestant sleep away camp when I was 12. See number 44.

46. My biggest problem at that camp, however, was not being Catholic, but innocently asking "What's Junior League?"

47. Growing up, I liked adults better than kids. Perhaps camp had something to do with that?

48. As a kid I was a bit like a girl version of the boy in About a Boy.

49. I can't decide if I'd rather live in mountains or by water. I live in flatlands now, with no water except when there's a storm and the streets flood. I came from fens and swamps (see the English and Irish ancestors) and to swamps I have returned.

50. I spend as much time as possible barefoot.

51. For the runners: I have a perfectly neutral gait. For the non-runners: that means when I roll off my toe, I do so perfectly down the center. It doesn't make me faster, but it means I'm not very injury-prone (unless I trip or something).

52. My marathon PR is 3:43.

53. My weight goes up and down about 20 lbs. depending on the amount and intensity of my running.

54. I'm 5'8" but I often claim I'm 5'9".

55. My current resting heart rate is 60, but when running regularly, it's 50.

56. I have 20/20 vision.

57. I only occasionally wear skirts and dresses. I prefer pants.

58. I loved REM in high school and college and still have t-shirts from that era. And I saved this, too:
59. Wilco has now replaced REM in my American(a) heart.

60. I have a theory that the 1970s were the best times for American girls to grow up. Perhaps I'll elaborate one of these days.

61. My porn name is Emily Windsor. It's not very porny at all!

62. All of my pets have had human names.

63. I don't like mustaches or soul patches alone (sorry Fizzy!), but put 'em together (for example, see Bullock on Deadwood) and ooh la la! Sexy!

64. I'm dreading the whole skinny jeans come-back, except on skinny men, where it looks kinda cool.

65. In my college facebook entry, I listed Amadeus as my favorite movie. I was the only one who did so.

66. Brad Dourif is my favorite character actor.

67. I can wear t-shirts in a children's large.

68. I still sometimes wear my 8th grade gym uniform t-shirt (a vintage ringer with the school name and mascot).

69. In high school and college I weighed 110 lbs (see that dress above).

70. I have a vintage Stephen Sprouse micro-mini from the 80s that would probably only fit around one of my thighs today.

71. I've worked in a fast food joint.

72. I've worked in retail.

73. I've been a paralegal.

74. All three of the above facts make me grateful to be an academic.

75. When I was a kid I wanted to be a zoologist.

76. I used to make purring noises at the big cats in my hometown zoo.

77. I have a framed portrait of myself, drawn by a friend.

78. I prefer winter to summer, but I really love fall.

79. I had a crush on Luis on Sesame Street when I was a kid.

80. Later, I had a crush on Apollo on the original Battlestar Galactica.

81. I had a unicorn collection when I was about 12.

82. At the same age, I love the local Renaissance Fair.

83. I've always wished I were a redhead.

84. I've always wanted straight, shiny hair.

85. I wanted to be a novelist (after the zoologist phase) but I could never come up with plots.

86. I'm an even worse poet. To wit, this morning I composed two haiku in honor of Life on Mars:

D. I. Sam Tyler,
Hurt in a crash, lost in time,
But his clothes are very cool.

Smoking and drinking at work,
Oh, what we have forgotten.

(Yes, I'm obsessed with the show.)

87. My left middle toe is longer than my big toe.

88. I can pick things up with my toes.

89. I spent a summer as a live-in babysitter and refer to it as "my summer as a governess."

90. I really want tobe on one of the BBC/PBS "____ House" reality shows.

91. I have conversations in my head with absent friends.

92. I talk with my hands.

93. I can't carry a tune, but I like to sing.

94. I have never been a member of SCA or played D&D.

95. I have no desire to travel back in time and live in the Middle Ages. I prefer modern conveniences and feminism, thank you very much.

96. I do, however, covet a thatch roof cottage in England -- retro-fitted with mod cons, of course.

97. I have dated two men named Guy. Neither was from Warwick.

98. I like mid-century ranch houses, but only if they're well-designed.

99. I hate this meme!

And finally, your reward for getting this far (though some of you know this already):

100. My biggest claim to cool is having been on a handful of dates with a certain fast-talking movie director and Oscar-winning screenwriter who has worked more than once with a stunning blonde daughter of a professor of Eastern religion. (Enough hints? I don't want to encourage odd Google hits.)


Anonymous said...

Well, even I found out a few things!
And my porn name would be Bonnie Windsor, or Bonnie Pleasant Grove (whoa!) if I go back a little further in time.

Dr. Virago said...

Bonnie Windsor sounds like a cadet member of the royal family of England.

But Bonnie Pleasant Grove! Now there's a porn name!

Dr. Virago said...

And ha -- I just realized Fast Fizzy's porn name would also be Bonnie Windsor! Now that's funny! Or were y'all living on a different street when he was born?

Flavia said...

Wow, I have a number of the later ones in common with you (nos. 78, 81-85, 88, 92-95).

And in re: Brad Dourif: have you seen Huston's adaptation of Wise Blood? Dourif plays the main character in it, looks nothing like he does today, and is fecking AWESOME.

(And finally, and not that anyone asked--my porn name is Rosalie Newport. Rosalie is not, one imagines, an especially successful porn star.)

Bardiac said...

LOL. The porn star names thing cracks me up. Mine's Nikky Tickler. Hmmm.

Am I the only one who's totally clueless about the director?

Anniina said...

Tarantino, huh? I didn't even finish reading the hints before I just knew! I could see you guys having fascinating conversations. Kudos on getting through all 100 - I'm scared to start that meme, because I just know I wouldn't finish it. Ok, what's with the NRA medal, explanations? :P

Dr. Virago said...

Oh man, I hope his name doesn't bring his obsessive fans here by way of Google! Anyway, mostly he talked. No wait, that's not true -- he's actually a good listener. But when he talked it was like being on a roller coaster of words.

As for the NRA medal, I got it at that snooty camp for riflery. Sick that they try to get 'em young, isn't it?

Karl Steel said...

What's it the Jesuits say: Give me a child at 7, and (s)he's mine for life.

Dr. Virago said...


I didn't know it was the Jesuits who said that, but it's the tagline for the 7-Up series! Funny that an English series quoted the Jesuits!

And are you trying to say once an NRA medalist, always an NRA medalist? OK, I like target shooting, I'll admit it.

Or are you saying I'm *still* like a girl version of that kid in About a Boy?

And woah, check out your new gravitar!

Anonymous said...

Apollo in Battlestar Gallactica - what about your obsession with Stephen Collins in his Harrison Ford wannabe TV show? or did you mention it in the earlier posts? And why can't I remember the name of the show?

Dr. Virago said...

Tales of the Gold Monkey. And yeah, I mentioned that in an earlier post.

Anonymous said...

I know what the Junior League is, but how do you come up with a porn name? In my dreams I'm known as Big Dick White!

Sean Dietrich said...

I am a barefoot runner. It's the only way to go!!