tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15231380.post3938964951143360655..comments2023-10-19T07:54:32.841-04:00Comments on Quod She: K'zoo report #1: Love the dance, hate the danceDr. Viragohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03960384082670286328noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15231380.post-69353341196506536832007-05-15T13:27:00.000-04:002007-05-15T13:27:00.000-04:00Although I have been to K'zoo a few times, I never...Although I have been to K'zoo a few times, I never became a regular at the conference and I've never been to the dance at all. It takes me three planes and a bus ride to get to Kalamazoo, which is both the reason I seldom attend and the reason I don't do the dance: I have to get up at 5am on Sunday for the trip home. <BR/><BR/>So I was really interested to read this post, because I always felt like such a marshmallow for not going to the dance. Thanks for the anthropological observations on the social dynamics there.squadratomagicohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07977502780584567298noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15231380.post-83818870722776941522007-05-15T09:40:00.000-04:002007-05-15T09:40:00.000-04:00I haven't been hit on (ok, that I've noticed..I'm ...I haven't been hit on (ok, that I've <I>noticed</I>..I'm pretty punchy by that time) since the dance changed venues. Since the bar changed from open to cash at that time I think much of the inappropriate choices some attendees have been known to make have reduced in number by a great deal (I've been attending since 1990, I've seen...er, too much).<BR/><BR/>I usually end up with a fuller dance card than I planned because I usually do a few wanders around the floor perimeter just keeping an eye on things (you know, potential safety issues...not whether people are injuring themselves doing the 'Elaine Benes'. I can't do anything about <I>that</I> disaster-in-waiting) and I'm, quite literally, grabbed. This year included a wonderful woman from U. Nottingham, the director of Leeds, and a host of regulars that swear every year I need to save them a dance. :P It's terribly silly. But even back in the day I never felt <I>threatened</I>...perhaps being fat and somewhat intimidating helps.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15231380.post-23520468036138987852007-05-15T09:24:00.000-04:002007-05-15T09:24:00.000-04:00MW -- The Time Warp is a group dance, but in a way...MW -- The Time Warp is a group dance, but in a way that the electric slide and line dancing are group dances -- everyone doing the same thing, but no one touching. That said, there is a "pelvic thrust" involved, but you're standing next to people and not doing it at them. So I'm still 99.9% certain that senior scholar's request was purely in fun and friendship, but my first reaction was caution becuase of the Mr. Flirties of the world. Sad.<BR/><BR/>And Aven -- yes, the lecherous ones ruin it for the nice guys. But tell your husband that I enjoy talking to new people of both sexes at the dance, and then if a group of people go out to dance ("Hey, let's all dance to this!" is a good move to make) there's no ickiness.<BR/><BR/>But as New Kid says, it's hard to talk -- my voice is still scratchy from the effort. But I was a club kid, so I don't mind it too much.<BR/><BR/>And New Kid, careful what you complain about or it might just happen next time! :) Generally it only happens to me at the wine hours and the dance, though this year a certain VERY senior medievalist who flirts with me every year at a certain regional conference (where, btw, I'm convinced he doesn't remember having flirted with me before) made a bee-line to sit next to me at a panel. Not exactly flirting, but given his track record, my first thought was "Oh no, I thought I was safe from him here!"Dr. Viragohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03960384082670286328noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15231380.post-10959522856153780932007-05-15T09:06:00.000-04:002007-05-15T09:06:00.000-04:00I'm sure the dynamics are different for women, but...I'm sure the dynamics are different for women, but I have a feeling that the problem also exists, in a different way, for (at least the more aware) male attendees of the dance -- how to be sociable without coming across as inappropriate, or smarmy, or pressuring. I've never been to K'zoo, but my husband goes every year, and while he does enjoy the dance, he generally only dances with people he already knows well; it avoids all of those issues, but it means it's not a great place to make new friends.AvenSarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11556589178527382426noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15231380.post-39746821066450261192007-05-14T21:37:00.000-04:002007-05-14T21:37:00.000-04:00You know, I think I kind of agree with Bullock, th...You know, I think I kind of agree with Bullock, that there shouldn't be a dance. But then, I just don't go, because I'm an old fart, and I don't drink and only dance with my old friends from college that I used to get drunk with. I like talking to people and the dance is too loud for that, and I'm a social misfit generally, so me and the dance don't mix.<BR/><BR/>That said, I agree completely that women shouldn't have to avoid the dance to avoid getting hit on!<BR/><BR/>But I was saying this to some other medievalists: I think I must attend some entirely different conference, because I've NEVER been hit on at Kzoo. Of course, it may make a difference that I go to lots of sessions populated primarily by women...<BR/><BR/>(BTW, I e-mailed you!)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15231380.post-29681362006639882552007-05-14T19:24:00.000-04:002007-05-14T19:24:00.000-04:00I, too, agree with your reflections about the ofte...I, too, agree with your reflections about the often fraught and usually fun dynamics at the dance. I think that the K'zoo dance, kinda like alcohol, emphasizes one's personality. I.e., the potentially slimy and smarmy are able to be overtly slimy and smarmy - and by extension, I've seen this happen to a few women as well (but this was several years ago). I haven't gone to the dance in years and I wish I had this year - K'zoo changes as we move forward in our careers and I think the dance and all it's social, professional, and entertaining implications must also change, eh? Kind of like you noticing that Mr. Flirty became interested once you became an asst. prof.<BR/><BR/>Just a question, is the Time Warp a group dance? I can hear the song in my head, but can't picture it...medieval womanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00457130525946143002noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15231380.post-66556716457276017832007-05-14T18:09:00.000-04:002007-05-14T18:09:00.000-04:00I don't like the idea of women absenting themselve...<I>I don't like the idea of women absenting themselves in order to avoid being hit on--it seems like punishing the aggressed-upon</I><BR/><BR/>I don't think I said it expressly in my post, but I feel exactly the same way. And I think, in the end, I like the dance more than I hate its awkwardnesss and opportunity for inappropriateness. And yes, it *is* hilarious.Dr. Viragohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03960384082670286328noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15231380.post-13492898275141714342007-05-14T16:21:00.000-04:002007-05-14T16:21:00.000-04:00I feel your conflict. A friend and I spent the bet...I feel your conflict. A friend and I spent the better part of the dance a few years ago dodging this really weird junior faculty member who was hitting on us both pretty heavily; when we tried to make it clear that we weren't interested, he would tell us that we were just misreading his culture and that we should basically get over it. (Believe me, "cultural difference" was not to blame!) However, I think that that particular weirdness would have existed even without the dance. In my experience and opinion, the positive aspects of the dance that you mention ultimately outweigh the negatives--although I agree that they do exist, and that there is the potential for some real Inappropriateness. But the dance is, after all, optional, and there's always the time-honored defense of surrounding oneself with one's female posse. (I don't like the idea of women absenting themselves in order to avoid being hit on--it seems like punishing the aggressed-upon--but cancelling the dance altogether only seems worse.... Okay, this post is getting long, and I could keep arguing in circles, so I'll conclude by saying:)<BR/><BR/>In the end, I really like to dance, and I have almost 0 opportunities to do so in the regular course of the year. So perhaps I'm just justifying what I find to be a truly pleasurable (and frankly hilarious) end-of-conference/year treat.heu mihihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08529298049179816825noreply@blogger.com